I spent such a long time being afraid to put myself out there, being so afraid of what would happen. Now that I am 'out there' every once in awhile I get anxious about it. I suddenly think "Eek! I have a website...my URL is MY NAME, and my picture is all over it!" It can be a little overwhelming for an introvert like myself. But I did it, I am doing it and so far so good. Sometimes I have to stop and take a deep breath and shake out the anxieties that go along with any transformation.
I tend to notice little synchronicities and see little signs everywhere. I especially tend to notice animals or birds or other little creatures that start popping up or that for some reason I start noticing more than usual. These are the things that I allow myself to glean little lessons or messages from. This brings us to the Cicada. This dear little odd sounding creature has hooked my attention more than it normally does. I don't know why exactly. They are in this area of the world every summer crawling up from the ground where they had lain dormant for a time and then shedding their outer dark brown layer to reveal a bright green body with brilliant wings.
I first met their weird sounding musical cacophony with a little bit of annoyance. It's not exactly...endearing when you first hear it. Over these past few years of living in Oklahoma, I have grown so used to them I hardly even notice them anymore. That sound is just part of this environment and a signal that summer is here at last. So why all of a sudden have I been noticing them more lately?
Yesterday my kids saw one of these outside. It was hanging onto the bug carrier they use to catch fireflies and other little insects. My daughter came up to me and said "Mommy come look at the little frog guy outside!" I went out to see this green big eyed thing clutched to the handle of the bug carrier that was on the porch. I picked up the carrier and realized it was not a frog at all, it was a cicada, half out of its skin.
We put it inside the bug carrier and watched as it slowly, VERY slowly, completely came out of its old skin. We thought that it was dead for a bit because it was not moving at all until at last it started wiggling its legs. Finally it was free from its old self and climbed up to the side of the carrier with its wet wings still wrinkled and furled. As the time passed the wings straightened out and dried and became a bright green then turned a beautiful black color that contrasted with it's brilliant green body. It was gorgeous!
Being that I love the idea of power animals and totems (Wolf and me have been buddies for ages!) I started doing some searching for what the power and messages of a Cicada might be. I came upon the following at: http://www.totemwisdom.com/cicadatotem.html#.UeoVIayDm2l
"Cicada Totem The Cicada is a symbol of rebirth and longevity. People with this totem are strong communicators and often find rewarding opportunities as the result of patience and persistence. Their callings sometimes come later in life after a period of seclusion. Cicada teaches communication through music - it's song is easily recognizable and noticed by others. Cicada also speaks of the ability to "shed one's skin" and emerge as something new and different in life. Coming out of your shell and expressing yourself authentically are themes of this totem.
Personal Reflection... Cicada remains underground for much of its life before emerging. When cicada appears to you it speaks of a need to come out from hiding, to break free of what restricts you. Cicada loses its shell and symbolizes our ability to come out from the shadows and let our inner being break free from oppression. Cicada has a distinctive sound all its own - use cicada's wisdom to inspire you to share your own voice. "
This message resonated with me as I read it. I feel a bit like a Cicada. I tried to keep to myself for so long, that I may as well have been underground. I was never one that liked a lot of attention and yet the path I want so desperately to tread means I have to get over that. I need to be out there so that people who need me can reach me. Thankfully, I think I have finally shed that outer skin. Now here I am! Bright green, my wings dry at last and learning to fly!